Color-Coordinated Wednesday One-Liners
Hipster on cell: Drunk dialing is the new black. Fuck you. Happy new year. –House Party, Lorimer St Overheard by: confabulation Nation Redhead to friend: I swear we always have orange animals and...
View Article…Wait– Was That a Sex Joke?
(back door opens and closes, then the bus starts moving)Obnoxious Hispanic Emo girl: Back doooor! Back doooor!Bus driver: What the fuck!? Speak up, I don’t have all day!Obnoxious girl: Back dooooor!Bus...
View ArticleNot Until You Stop Killing Cactuses
Boyfriend: We are not getting a Down's Syndrome pet!Girlfriend: What?Boyfriend: You know, a pet you buy when you're down. We're not getting one!Girlfriend: But I feel vulnerable and want to exert my...
View ArticleMore Deli Fun
Deli guy: Yo Susan, how’s life treating you? Customer: Bad. I need an new life. Deli guy: Your life’s almost over and you need a new one? –Bensonhurst
View ArticleAnd Every Cow Has Its Own Udders, Y’know?
Sad, sober friend: I just really miss her, I guess.Drunk friend: There’s no color the sky can’t be at any given time. Remember that! –E 11th & 2nd
View ArticleDude, Your Pimp Hand is Mad Weak
Crying woman: You fucked her and then you fucked me. Man: But baby, I knew it was wrong at the time! –Central Park South Overheard by: Lily
View ArticleToday, My Son, You Are a New Yorker.
Dad to four-year-old son: Okay, this is our stop.Four-year-old son: I hate life.Dad: What?Four-year-old son: I hate life. –1 Train Overheard by: RAF
View ArticleSomeone Who Looked into the Abyss of What American Apparel Had to Offer
Chick #1: What’d you do today?Chick #2: Contemplated suicide.Chick #1: Who are you? –American Apparel, Houston St
View ArticleAll the World’s a Wednesday and the People Merely One-Liners
Loud angsty teen boy: My life is a tragedy and I’m only in act two! –LaGuardia High School Overheard by: He’s no Shakespeare… Actor: I almost woke up dead this morning. But I don’t have an understudy....
View ArticleI Always Spin a 2, Never Get the Blue Car, and My Peg Always Falls Out.
Hipster: Life is so… boring to me. –Outside trendy hipster bar Overheard by: J. Corner Headline by: RL Runners-Up:· “God: Well, You See Jesus, I’m Kinda Glad You Said That Because…” – Sizzle·...
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